At some point in our lives all of us will experience the loss of a loved one, a relationship, a job, a pet, a home and even maybe permanent changes in our health, there are countless reasons in life that we will grieve. Grief is a completely natural human response to loss. There is no right or wrong way for any individual to go through this process, it takes the time it takes and the feeling of loss may never truly pass, it will just becomes a part of us, as we travel through the journey of our life. Whatever kind of loss, bereavement or grief that we experience, we cannot predict what our thoughts, feelings or physical sensations will be, and arise in such an impossibly hard emotional time. Grief is universal and happens all over the world, a shared human experience, and each person will have their own individual beliefs and cultural values when this time arrives for them.

Mindfulness practice is not meant to minimise any of the pain we experience or suggest that by meditating everything will be okay, but what it does do is, teach us how to experience our thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations in the present moment, and with a huge amount of self compassion, allow and give yourselves the permission to feel what you feel without judgement, moment by moment in a healthy environment. It is acceptable to most of us that we generally want to avoid pain and suffering, but to resist and suppress our emotions becomes exhausting, taking up far too much of our emotional and physical energy.Sometimes you may need to kindly remind yourself that grief can become too much for one person alone, you may want the help and support from family, friends, your religious community, a grief support group or a healthcare professional.Also remembering that there is never a destination to reach when experiencing grief, however there are many different mindfulness practices that can help with the grieving process, try not to rush things and maybe start with a simple practice, it takes time to learn new things and when you feel ready, maybe a breathing mindful meditation is a good place to start.

Mindful breathing can be done anywhere at any time without anyone realising you're even doing it, your breath is your anchor, it always with you and on an average we breath 22,000 times a day without even being conscious of it.In a comfortable position, focus all of your attention on your body, as your breath enters and exits the body, there’s no need to change anything just your normal breathing pattern is good, pay attention to the gentle rise and fall of your chest, the feeling of the cool air in your nostrils and the warmth of your breath as it leaves your body, can you notice any other physical sensations as you breath? the whole of your body as your breath rhythmically flows in and out? a sense of stillness, restlessness, lightness maybe some heaviness, whatever you feel in this moment is ok and if you feel nothing that’s ok to, all you are doing is noticing what your experience is right now in this present moment, your mind will probably wonder, thinking of all the other things than seem more important to do at this time, do acknowledge and not linger on these thoughts (your thoughts are just that thoughts) and then gently without judgement bring your attention back to your breath and all the sensations that you can feel in this moment, this wandering or distraction may happen one or more times during your meditation time and that's okay, its the noticing that this has happened and bringing your attention back to the breath that counts (this is meditation) and when you feel the time is right for you, finish your breathing meditation by taking just a moment to sit, and give yourself a kind thought for the rest of the day. Mindfulness practices help us by activating the parasympathetic nervous system (our bodies rest and digest system) when this is activated our heart rate and blood pressure will lower which can then help us to reduce the feelings that occur when we are anxious. 

Mindfulness allows us to embrace and accept what is happening now in the present moment to be without judgement in this moment, to recognise what has happened and allow us to have some self compassion. Gently remind yourself that your process is your own it will rise and fall, be gentle and patient with yourself and take all the time you need.

 “You will survive and you will find purpose in the chaos, moving on doesn’t mean letting go” Mary VanHaute

Over the last 12months Covid-19 has brought about many changes in our lives that we would once never have thought possible.  Creating enormous losses of, loved ones, for some of us, the loss of jobs affecting our income, a loss of our everyday work and social routines and a loss of what we thought was the certainty we had, at least on our own life pathway.  We had been placed in a completely new and strange world.  With the current lockdown restrictions beginning to ease in the weeks ahead and many of the population have had or are currently receiving their vaccines, maybe we can start to look forward to having a little bit of normality and some of our old routine if its still there back in our lives.  But as we took time to adjust going into and living in lockdown, there are many of us that are feeling anxious and concerned about reconnecting, to start over once again, living our lives as we had before.  For many there will be the added pressure of living with the feelings of loss and grief that was experienced through this pandemic.   Everyone of us will have experienced this in some way, a loss that is personal to them, so challenges and uncertainty maybe ahead, in our families or in our working environment, we will certainly need to navigate and move through it the best way that we can, all using our own individual coping mechanisms, allow yourself to feel what you feel, have self-compassion and self love, love and compassion for others, there is no set timetable for how long it will take you to adjust.  Life is beautiful, but it can also be difficult and at times painful and throughly enduring.

Learning to use Mindfulness as a tool, will help you to address your feelings, assist you when navigating a way through the discomfort and challenges that may arise from what you have personally experienced, worry, anxiety, fear, loss and grief.  As we begin to intergrate back into our normality and the joy of community living we will come across changes of all kinds. Mindfulness teaches us to become aware of the present moment, our thoughts and feelings, our physical experience and accept them as they are in this moment,  to acknowledge any discomfort, anxiety and pain that may also be present in the moment, to experience it, feel it, instead of maybe choosing to turn away or ignore those feelings.  How to be aware of our immediate surrounding space, the sounds and smells it has, how it appears visually to us and how it feels physically to us.  This experience of living in the present, can be expanded out into the world that surrounds our lives, giving us a wider picture to view, experience physically and emotionally.  Once we can accept that there is no permanence, we allow ourselves to live in the present moment, with its ever changing shape, its ebbs and flows and all the up's and downs that life hold for us.

Mindful Breathing is accessible to us all, every minute of everyday, try to think of your breath as an anchor that holds and grounds you, in the present moment.  To begin, stop what your doing, be comfortable and focus on your breath, feel the physical sensations of the breath, the rise and fall of the chest, maybe you can feel the breath in other parts of your body, the back or the shoulders, the lower abdomen, can you feel the flow of air in and out of your nose or mouth, any thoughts that enter your head (and they will) try allowing them to drift past as you like clouds in the sky,  then refocus once more back to your breath, you may sometimes feel emotions rise to the surface whilst practicing Mindful Breathing  this is ok, acknowledge them, and when you feel ready return once again to the sensations of your breath, after experiencing any distraction always gently and with kindness to yourself return back to the sensations of your breath.  This is not easy and it may take a little time to learn, so practice is essential, but it will and can become a great natural tool for you to use when those anxious and difficult to handle moments arise or those trying periods that will certainly enter into your life at some point.

We all need to take care of ourselves, our families, friends, communities and each other, we need rest, sleep, to eat well and exercise, set time aside each day to.............breath, just be still in the present moment and breath, be your own best friend, be kind to yourself, seek and ask for help if you need to, these are difficult and challenging times, but they will not last forever.

 ***Feelings come and go like clouds in the sky. Conscious Breathing is my Anchor*** Thich Nhat Hanh 

How can you escape from the harmful effects of stress in your normal daily life?

Feeling stressed can feel perfectly normal to most of us, especially when we have a busy lifestyle and in small doses stress can even help you accomplish some tasks more efficiently, at other times we can feel overwhelmed and unable to concentrate on the smallest tasks.

The good stress keeps us feeling alive and excited about life, feeling our pulses quicken when riding a rollercoaster, butterflies in our stomach when we are going on a first date, result in helping us to feel pleasure and be happy with life.   When bad stressful situations occur and it feels inescapable our bodies are being exposed to chronic stress, we are then prone to having a weakened immune system, fatigue and anxiety related conditions.

Mindfulness breathing helps us to interrupt the stress cycle, letting us get some space away from the stressful situation.  Using our breath as an anchor (our breath being ready available to us whenever we need it) bring your awareness to the physical sensations in your body whilst breathing, the rise and fall of your chest and abdomen, the warmth or coolness of the breath in and around your nostrils.  Your mind will inevitably wander off, thinking, planning or just day dreaming.  When this happens, gently with kindness bring your awareness back to the sensations of your breathing, this may happen a few times or many times, just keep bringing your focus back to the breath and the present moment.

Often when we are stressed we take shallow more rapid breaths, by bringing our attention to the rise and fall in our abdomen, it relaxes us by encouraging a slower more rhythmic breathing pattern, this will massage our internal organs improving blood supply supporting a healthy heart and brain.  You can choose to be lying on your back, sitting up tall on a chair, crossed legged on the floor or even out walking when doing your practice. Start by doing a few minutes several times a day increasing it up to a complete 30 minute practice once a day, your practice will allow you to take the control back into your life and help to balance your emotions and thoughts, making choices and decisions with clear awareness.